Of NALSAR FUCKALL UNIVERSITY OF LAW

Having returned to civilisation for a while, I am busy eating, sleeping and taking stock of my life in college so far. I'd like to talk about life in my college for once. I know I have made passing referances to the same from time to time. However, I don't think I have actually clearly reflected why that institute is a (pardon me) shithole of a place.

To begin I have to give a brief introduction to my college, NALSAR University of Law, Hyderabad. Its situated 28 kms fron Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh; about 3 kms from a village called Shameerpet. Some of the rules regarding the conduct of students that have evolved in that place over the past 5 years have been as follows;

a) Everyone has to be back on campus by 7pm. Otherwise you will be indefinitely grounded to remain within cmpus premises at all times.

b) Students of opposite sex aren't allowed to hold hands or get cosy in public. It is not our culture. Homosexuals are not included in the above rule. I suspect this is because the NALSAR administration actually believes that Homosexuals don't exist. I feel, they think that gays only come on TV.

c) We have 2 hostel campuses within the University campus. One for boys and one for girls. All students are supposed to have retired to their hostels by 9pm. And they are expected to remain there for the rest of the night till 9am when classes resume and breakfast is available. Meanwhile it is to be noted that there is no food available to the students for the 12 hours that they're expected to remain within their hostel confines.

d) Our campus has got a 13 foot wall, with broken glass pieces embedded on them. There are also poles stuck on the wall at regular intervals which are used to host 3 layers of barbwires. One horizontal, another crisscrossing the horizotal ones, and the third and the deadliest forming a 3d loop around both the aforementioned.

*I have scaled this wall. I have permenent wound marks on my hands and legs to prove the same. I also know atleast 3 others who have scaled it. All on our own. Fuck You NALSAR. Suck my dick.

Actually, don't.

e) You can't have visitors on campus. Your parents aren't allowed into your hostels. Further if a friend drops by to surprise you, you can get grounded. Happened to a poor first year boy already. He had no idea his friend had come from the city. The VC was near the main gate and having noticed this visitor waiting outside the campus premises, he decided to ask him who he'd come to meet. He then called the student who was being visited and grounded him in front of his school friend. Its true, I'm not making this up. We didn't know we couldn't have visitors till that day.

f) Once you take permission to leave campus, and leave campus; then you can't come back before you're expected. No matter what happens to you.

I was travelling to Araku Valley. It was to be my first trip all alone. However, I realised that I had been pickpocketed on the train, and thus got off at the Station. I couldn't file a diary with the cops because I had no identification. I had lost my ATM card, my money, and all my ids. Having found some juniors from college at the station I borrowed some money and headed back to campus. When I reached campus at around 8pm, the guards stopped me outside and refused to let me in. I had to wait for an hour with all my baggage outside my own college gates till the Registrar got back to campus and allowed me in.

f) Day before yesterday a Warden came into our hostel in the afternoon when there were no classes going on, and asked all of us to shut down the music in our rooms.

Myself : Why Sir?

Warden : It is very loud you see.

Myself : So we'll turn it down Sir. Anyway campus is empty, there are no conferances going on. Whats the problem?

Warden : No...No...Not turn down. Please put it off. Music 24/7 is not good.

Myself in my head : WTF?

As I am typing the aforementioned I can feel my blood boiling. I feel like breaking something already. The aforementioned conditions are a few examples of the restrictions imposed upon the student body of NALSAR, which ironically lives in a state of absolute bliss under the same rules.

I plan to formally collate and codify all the restrictions I have encountered in this place into a statute someday. I'll call it The Freedom of Students (Control and Regulation by Morons) Act, 1998 .

*NALSAR was founded in 1998.

**Anyone appearing for CLAT or other Legal Aptitude exams beware. Don't come to NALSAR even if you get through. India Today Rankings are a farce like any other goddamn rankings. Don't go by the brochure. Its another big fat lie. Come to campus and meet the professors. One look at them and you'll know they're morons and have nothing of value to impart to you.