I guess I owe an apology to anyone and everyone who has visited this space since the last post and actually believed that this was a break. I had believed so myself. But I'm sorry, this space does seem dead. Comatose at the very least. The tragic bit, if any, is that it died for no particular reason whatsoever. I liked this space and I wanted to keep it going irrespective of how bland and mumblinglike it was. Its just that its not happening anymore. There is no urge to write. Which is ironic considering the level of activity in my life right now. I probably have more to say now than I did just about couple of months back. But the will is gone!

Such is life I suppose. Cheers!

Break Ke Baad

This space is not dead. Not yet anyway.

I had been looking forward to 2011. The year was to begin with me unemployed and devoid of a plan. The funny thing about being unemployed is that you suddenly find a lot on your plate that interests you, and none of it is something you HAVE to do!
All the things you had been planning and all the others that come up in time, which you wouldn't have been able to do were you bound to an office for more that 10 hours a day. Also whatever it is you do, seems to be infused with a new manner of intensity. Sort of like living with a vengeance. Cleansing 18 months of existential stagnation in 6 short weeks.

Can be one hell of a ride! With the right research of course, a sprinkling of luck and always a little help from your friends.

Now I'm on the otherside but the ride ain't over yet. In fact I reckon its just about warming up. This year shall now see me experience the life of a Junior Advocate at the Supreme Court of India, amongst other things. I shift to New Delhi in a week's time. Have to find a home, start work, buy a goddamn gown again (we wear a slightly different one at the Calcutta High Court) and get used to a brand new city.

To much to do yet. Too much to think of and take care of. So I ended up watching movies till late in the night. Shanghai. Found a couple of pearls therein. Firstly, "the heart is never neutral". One of the many thoughts meandering through John Cusack's head as he tries to unravel the mystery behind his friend's death and decipher the truth sugar coated in Mistress Lan Ting's cunning beauty. The film, besides being watchworthy, casts our Hottie of the Month as Ms. Anna Lan Ting (No I haven't seen Memoirs of a Geisha).

Gong Li (Picture from here)

Its all happening, its all happening!!! ... Band Aid voices screaming in my head (think Almost Famous).

2 Days to my departure from this office and I already feel the blood coursing in my veins. The time to fall off the map, the time to not dread the coming of the morning but to rush towards it with outstretched arms, the time to grow younger than you were and the time to be free.

Almost there. Almost.

Soon I'll be lugging 7-8 kilos in a beat up faithful rucksack up a mountain keeping pace with a couple of old timers. Only to be sleeping on state transport buses and inside sleeping bags with a tent for shelter and the night sky for company. And finally back to being able to do whatever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want.

Atleast for a little while.

Free (Now all I need is my Wild Indian Woman!!)

However, it shall do me good to see through these last 48 hours appropriately. Too many things to clear with too many bleddy depts. Also one must leave with one's boss's blessings in my profession. Which is really my top concern now since I have been given work today, which I ought to do extra well, and would too if only it wasn't for this nagging drowsiness. Which again is my bad I suppose. Stayed up till 2:30 am watching Heat. What can a man do when you put Al Pacino and Robert DiNero against each other with their abundance of style, guns and ammo? To top that you put in a long haired, blonde, hitman/junkie played by Val Kilmer, you're really conspiring to keep your regular run of the mill working man up all night.

Man, I'd love to be a gangster.

"We Jazz June, we die soon"

I've always been attracted to breaking the rules. Not because the rules are good or bad or right or wrong. But simply because they are there. Don't get me wrong. I'm not prescribing a lifestyle choice here or advocating anything for that matter. Just that it feels good breaking them rules. Always has you know. Its a good feeling that never lets you down. Like a tried and tested high.

However, Neil McCauley (Robert Di Nero) was too smart. Even for Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino). A career criminal was he, and with honour. Until she came along.

Eady (Amy Brenneman) when Neil (Robert Di Nero) sees her for the first time in Heat

Picture from here

The kinda lady you'd leave it all behind for (but thats assuming you've had had a life to leave behind in the first place). There's freedom there too I suspect. That makes Amy Brenneman our Hottie of the Month.

Cheers.

Had the craziest weekend in the longest time. One of the oldest friends was in town, and well we had ourselves a boy's night out. Stag as the good old times of school when the wimmen would look at us and smile benignly with a look that unmistakably revealed their innate desire to tousle our hair and squeeze our cheeks. Yea I felt like a goddamn kid then but nowadays they simply look the other way. I'm thinking being a kid and cute was better than being an inebriated adult and a potential rapist. Anyway we were saved from our blushes outside a nightclub when a bunch of Irish women decided that they not only wanted to enter with us, but they also wanted to party with us the rest of the night. All I had said was, "I love U2 man, please could you get us inside??" Also for the first time in my life was I hailed as a "gentleman" along with my friend (often repeatedly) by the same aforesaid Irishwomen. Yeah take that all ye who look away. Take that I say!

Also belated happy birthday old friend. You know who you are. I don't think they'll have blogs where you are but there's really no other way I can say this to you now, is there. For the record, I did actually go out and raise a toast to you, so you'd better do the same for me up there.

To DVR who is a million miles away ..

Of Heartbreaks

En route to an early morning game of football, what was the first in ages, sitting in an auto with 2 other players, chatting about what was last evening's game between city rivals East Bengal and Mohunbagan and Robin Singh's two match winning strikes when our veteran auto driver turned and retorted to us young EB fanboys with disdain that "Prothom goal ta kheye toh Shilton-er book bhenge gelo, tar por dwitya goal aar ki thamabe??!? Or je mon bhenge gechche".

Literally translates to "The first goal broke Shilton's heart (Shilton = Mohunbagan goal keeper), how do you expect him to stop the second. The poor man was heartbroken".

I've been wanting to leave this city for a while. And sometimes it seems like I'll never get out. But some other times, times like these, they bring a smile to my face. For such sometimes happen only in Kolkata.

I don't know what it is. Maybe its the weather, maybe being amidst civilization after 5 years of semi-imprisonment, or maybe its just me all of 24 but not for long. Whatever it is, its never been this hapless before. There are too many people and too many acquaintances, yet life has never felt lonelier. Almost as if out of spite for those acquaintances, who well are great people.. really. And who are still the same. The way they were when you'd left them. Left home. Yet now... now you belong elsewhere. And the friends of old, well they're just friends of old. Not companions of the present. I guess. Weird.

Nevermind. I still got music. And did I mention the weather? It is great! Fabulous in fact. Walk out of the shivering shade into the lazy sun and bask a while making the drag last inside your lungs. God bless ITC.

Also speaking of music, an old friend was recently speaking, in between sips of hot tea, of how sometimes the simplest of words and the most clichéd of tunes encompass all that there is, there was and there ever will be. In just a moment. The slight tremble of the voice, or the sudden softness in the finger picked twang, or the promise of ever returning to the start and always ending up close but not quite. Just like life, sometimes. Only sometimes.

Here's a sappy number by two beautiful and talented artists that makes me wish I was born in different times. So let the devil take tomorrow, cause tonight I need a friend..

I love weekends.

4 days to go...